Warning, the following material is true and horrifically, awfully bad.

Okay, so I wake up at 6:30. Nothing too weird about that. It's Wednesday, and I just had work the night before, along with some homework, so I'm tired and really thirsty. But I feel sick. As in - Run Connor! Run to the bathroom! You won't make it! Not in the wastepaper bin! Run! - sick. So after vomiting profusely for about ten minutes, I feel a little better. Glad that that was out of my system, I get in the shower. Everything else seems to be okay, until the hot water dies - halfway through washing my hair. Breathing sharply and spluttering like mad, I finish up and get out of the shower. Normally my shower is pretty good, it just hates me today. I dry my hair, stare at my puffy eyes and rub some vaseline on my overly chapped lips. Considering I was quite sick just before, I skip breakfast. This also isn't too unusual. Confident that my day should get better from here, I get dressed and walk upstairs.

My first period starts late today, so everyone is already gone by the time I am still packing the last of my lunch. I should definitely be on time by this point, I mean, it's only 8:20. As I finish putting the sushi in a plastic container, I hear this strange, clunking, chugging noise. After jumping a meter in the air from fright, I turn around to face the noise. It is the dishwasher. And it is in a very sorry way. I stare wide-eyed, sushi in hand as a deluge of water pours out from the stupid machine and covers my shoes. What... the heck. I quickly jump out of the puddle, which is rapidly becoming a lake, and kick off my shoes and socks. I call out, but nobody else is home. Rolling my pants halfway up my calves, I wade through the water and turn of the washing machine - but it has no effect. The clunking continues. Thinking logically, I search for the powerpoint. I rapidly discover that it is nowhere to be found. I look under and behind the dishwasher, which is backfiring like a B-Double truck, around the sink and in the cupboards. Finally, I find the plug near the plumbing under the sink. I switch it off, but not before the dishwasher is able to unleash a barrage of dirty water onto my face. Coughing and spluttering, I stand up, mainly in shock, banging my head on the sink on the way. By now, I am almost up to my ankles in water, and am completely saturated. Bits of last night's macaroni stick to my shirt, evidently taking a vacation from the plate someone forgot to rinse. I take off my shirt, leaving my white undershirt on, which is now wet, semitransparent and oppressively tight and sticky. Gross.

Though the water has fortunately stopped flowing, the dishwasher triumphantly starts its melancholy song again. Completely confused as to where in the name of christ this dishwasher is getting power, I wipe a drop of water from my face, only to discover that I just covered myself in some sort of black goo, which is obviously oil based and won't wash off. Just as I grab a latex surgical glove from the cupboard, the phone rings - because I really feel like talking to a telemarketer right now. Then, an idea. I run to the phone, hoping it will be Dad, who can tell me how to vanquish the ghost in the dishwasher. I pick up the phone. "Hiiiii....." I say, breathless and enthusiastically into the phone, whilst also sounding like a complete twat.
"Connor?" comes the voice. Oh no. It's a woman, and it's not Mum.
"Yes?" I say, thinking maybe I should have lied.
"Connor, this is Mrs. Williams from the school office. How come you have not attended the first period today?"
Oh crap. I look at the clock. 9:10?! You have to be kidding me. "Look, my dishwasher is broken and there is water everywhere. Im trying to stop it leaking. I'm up to my ankles in it right now and-"
"Connor, you know you cannot miss class for any reasons other than being ill, for school certified activities or bereavement of a close relative. I'm sorry but you know you should have come to school. Leave that right now." Sorry my ass. Yes Connor, leave the dishwasher to backup and leak through into the the first story. Go for it. Because your Biology teacher TOTALLY isn't a douchebag or anything either.
"Look, if I don't do this, it's going the affect the structural integrity of the building. The area is timber floored and..."
"Connor, you are in direct breach of school rules. Come to school immediately." I was about to make some elaborate excuse about being electrocuted and hang up, but it continued to get worse. "Before you do however, I need to inform you that you are required to attend the Student Leader Investiture Ceremony. You are receiving your badge."

WHAT?! I'm not a leader of anything! I made sure of that. I don't want the responsibility, or the ambassadorship, or the individual attention. Not in Year 12. No. WHAT!? "But I'm not a leader!"
"It says here that Connor Parker is a student leader and is required to attend in order to be presented with his badge."
"What am I a leader of? I never gave any consent! I...I never expressed interest or confirmed a nomination. I'm not a leader of anything this must be a mistake I-"
"Connor. You are required to come to the investiture ceremony. You are a student leader. Though you aren't making a very good examples of yourself right now are you? Come to school so-" I never heard much else after the smoke alarm went off. Sometimes I could hear "Connor! Connor are you there?" coming from the other end of the line but at that stage I didn't care. Using the cordless phone's antenna, I repeatedly poke the alarm's reset switch. Finally, I hit the right button. What I don't understand is what set it off. Until I see the cloud of black smoke rising from the dishwasher. Panicking, I grab the fire blanket and throw it over the stupid machine. Not quickly enough to stop the fire alarm going off however. Utterly exhausted and defeated, I sit down, ankle deep in water, saturated, sticky, covered in grease, fire alarm blaring, dishwasher smoking, holding a rapidly shorting circuiting phone with a receptionist who hates me on the other end of the line, and a surprise leadership role waiting for me at the investiture ceremony.

Yep, it was gonna be a good day.